What 2 Say if a woman approaches you about this sign.

What 2 Say(download pdf)

Print this,
memorize it and keep it in your glove compartment!

Disclaimer: Anything you do is on your own volition. By reading and printing this you agree not to hold Candle In The Window liable for anything you do as a mature, concerned citizen helping another.

You may be approached by women of any and all economic levels, looking for help or testing your sincerity. We recommend that you:

1. Be encouraging, compassionate and non-judgmental. Assume she is quite distressed and WANTS to find a practical non-violent solution. Focus on HER, not the baby; she probably cannot focus on anything else right away.

2. Listen to her. Be hopeful and assure her there are people who can help and support her during this difficult time. Her life is not over. Many women have been in her shoes and are leading happy fulfilling lives. They got through it without adding bigger regrets to their lives.

3. Ask her if she is being coerced or pressured to have an abortion; that relationship will rarely survive after an abortion. She will soon hate whomever led her to do such a horrible thing to her child. And she will love whomever showed her the life-nurturing support she really needed. We can help her find money, a job, housing, safety, pay for her education and more.

4. There is no such thing as a safe abortion. Let her know that abortion clinics are not hospitals and many abortionists became such because they failed their medical board exams. It's easy to rupture the womb or colon, or have other complications that result in permanent damage (sterility, miscarriages, incontinence) and/or death. Some ER's are close by but most are not.

5. Let her know that you believe in her. She needs to know someone genuinely cares and sees her goodness and beauty, etc. She is worthy and not a hopeless person.

6. Do not try to push a specific long-term solution on her; leave that for professional counselors. Women in crisis are not often receptive to ideas like adoption or their own strength as mothers until their immediate fears and needs have been taken care of.

7. Suggest that you both call 1-800-395-HELP (4357) together and see if it leads to a specific next step. (Program several of these numbers into your speed-dial.)

8. Perhaps extend a larger offer of friendship and involvement if you are able to do so, on your own initiative and responsibility. (Disclaimer: Anything you do is on your own initiative and responsibility and you may not hold Candle In The Window liable in any way.)

9. Ask for her contact info so you can follow up and make sure she is getting through to the group that can best help her. Perhaps dial your own phone number from her cell so you have each other's.

10. If you are a believer, pray for her before, throughout and after. And be grateful for the opportunity to be of service.


1. Get familiar with the resources in your area. A personal contact is much better than a phone number. Drop by the pregnancy centers to say hello and get a tour of their facilities.

2. Carry additional information that may be of service. Get to know specifics of
fetal development (heartbeat at 21 days, brainwaves and reflexes detected at 42 days).

3. Learn about the dangers of abortion. The book
Lime 5 is an expose of tragedies caused by abortionists in the USA. It was compiled through records of lawsuits, police records, newspapers articles, death certificates, autopsies, medical examiners' reports, state licensing board documents and more.

4. Know these common reasons women think they have no choice (when they aren't outright coerced by someone):

1. We already have X number of children and can't afford another. No, you already have X+1 and you're choosing to eliminate one of them. Your new child will be beautiful. His or her siblings will KNOW they had a sister or brother. What will you tell them? They WILL find out or sense it. Abortion will hurt your marriage AND your relationship with your other children. We can help you with the financial and medical issues.
2. We're both in school, too young, etc. Letting the baby live will only set you back 6 months. You will seriously regret this decision later. So many women HAVE had their baby and finished their education and are so happy they did - that baby has brought them far more joy than any job they were training for. If you can't raise the baby yourself, 2 MILLION couples are waiting to adopt and will offer the home and love that you cannot. Please do not put your short-term goals ahead of your baby's life! We can help you with material resources and education or job help.
3. My daughter was raped! Abortion does not undo a rape. Rape is a tragic despicable crime but please don't commit something even worse, against someone even more innocent. It's much HARDER to heal from an abortion than from a rape. Let the child thrive, as a beautiful testimony to love in spite of violence. It’s your grandchild! It's not the baby's fault they exist. There are 2 MILLION couples eager to adopt.
4. I am showing her support by helping her get an abortion. On the contrary, when she realizes what she has done she may hate whoever convinced her to get an abortion. Mother, father, boyfriend, husband: BEWARE! You are not doing her a favor, neither for her body or her mind or soul. You are undermining her dignity as a person and she may soon react by cutting out the people who have misled and harmed her so much. And that's assuming the abortionist doesn't hurt her physically, which is common.
5. She can't handle this now. Later on she'll have a baby. There is no "right time" to have a baby, or a guarantee that you can just have one when you decide. Many miscarriages follow abortion. Being pregnant is always painful and inconvenient, but luckily you are NOT as weak and helpless as people tell you you are. The time for caution and prudence is before making love, before making the baby. Once it's made the only decision is to nurture and develop your abilities as a self-sacrificing lover. To focus on harm, destruction, emotional hardening and rejection are neither healthy or trivial behaviors. Mother, become what you are! Be strong, be brave, be better than your own parents ever were!


If you go pray or talk to people outside an abortion clinic, they may ask "Don't you have more important things to do?" The answer will soon come to your heart and lips, "No, there's actually nothing more important than helping a woman avoid this mistake and accept the beautiful living child in her womb." Here are more resources to learn more:

Contact Dick Retta, 301-424-4225 dick@prolifeparishproject.com